"Dr. Drama" episode 2

Back to the series of phone calls...

My first one was around 10:00am. It was my doctor himself. He called to inform me that he had seen the results from my blood work (interesting fact: they tell you it will take 7 to 10 days and he called me within 2 days, lol). He wanted to let me know he had some concerns about my pregnancy. He then proceeded to tell me that my child has a 1 in 138 chance of having Spina Bifida, the average is usually 1 in 1,000 so he wanted to do some more tests and take some extra precautions. He then continued on and on about the worst possible scenarios and how it was important to be prepared and carefully monitor this pregnancy. He first told me he was going to schedule a Type II Ultrasound immediately to see where along the spine the problem was in order to make the necessary arrangements. Fetal surgery in 8 weeks at a Hospital in Nashville, Tennessee. (This is when they cut me open, take the baby out, operate on her and then put her back in for a few more weeks.) Then I would delivery at Children's Hospital in Seattle with a team of Neurologists 6 weeks after the surgery. This would give my baby the greatest chance of a normal life... if it's the right type of spina bifida. But on another hand it may not be necessary because they child might die before then too. Wow. Thanks. He then told me to go research it online so I could be prepared and educated. Umm... he must have missed the part on my chart about me being unmediated and crazy. Jabali tried to down play the whole thing for me so my anxiety wouldn't take over, and for the most part it worked. Even though my odds are much, much higher than the average woman's it is still less than a 1% chance my baby will be born with spina bifida. So if I gave birth 138 times, only one of those children would be affected. ... it helped a little bit.
A few hours later, when I had calmed down for the most part.. I had a nurse call and remind me all over again and inform me when my next appointment was. I did not get the option to reschedule. It was the very next available appointment and it was more of a polite demand than a request. I agreed and put it on the calendar. Even though it means I will be going alone, and have to find babysitters for my kids, and ask Jackie to find someone to watch Connor, and I'll be late for Jabali II's football game (the one game that his mom just happens to be coming down from Seattle for). Ah stress. Lovely.

A few hours later I got a call from a Neonatal Specialist who set up another no rescheduling available appointment for an ultrasound of their own, and a follow up appointment exactly 2 weeks later, always on the worst day of the week possible. 

What I don't understand is how other people can have normal pregnancies? Maybe everyone else has just as many complications I just don't hear about them. It just seems like mine are so hard. Not only am I sick most of the 9 months, I have to get off my precious mood stabilizing medications and try my best to act normal for the other members of my family THEN on top of that my babies are sick in someway. Quinn wasn't developing at the normal levels and was most likely going to die before being born. Marley had a diaphragmatic hernia and was going to have surgery immediately after she was born and every 5 years thereafter, and now this baby has spina bifida. That's a lot for a crazy pregnant girl to take in. Now Quinn and Marley are perfectly healthy and happy kids. And odds are this new baby will be too. But WHY the drama? Whatever happened to the natural progression of things? "Oh you are pregnant! Hooray for you, enjoy your pregnancy" "It's a girl! Congratulations." Not for me I guess. Such is life. :) 

I am still overly stressed out and beside myself on what to think, or do but I am going to stay positive, keep thinking happy and healthy thoughts and try to lead people to believe I am not on the verge of tears at any given second of the day. lol.