I have been dying to sit down and just write. Write about everything that is happening all around me.
How awful the holidays were this year, despite all the happy things that were going on... I hated Christmas this year. Never, have I ever hated this holiday until now. I am hopeful for next year though because I have learned what NOT to do, haha.
The obscene whirlwind it was to celebrate Jake's return and send him off again in a mere 4 days, and all the drama that surrounded the fight for what little time we had with him. What a disaster my family can be sometimes. Absolute madness.
How amazing it felt to have Jake home and how wonderful it is to have Stephanie's family living nearby. All of us siblings were in the house at the same time one night and it was pure greatness! We ate dinner, we talked, we laughed, we played games and it was unbelievably fun. I love times like that. Makes the trials of life and everyday problems seem less stressful, less important.
Life is changing. In SO many ways it is changing. Some are great, some not so much but all of it is exciting and scary. I am not sure if I will love it or hate it. But I enjoy change, change is good.
There is an upcoming challenge I am preparing to face alone and I'm completely stressing out about it, despite my efforts to stop "paying interest" on a problem that hasn't happened yet I can't stop thinking about it. It's going to be big and I am scared to fail.
How happy it makes me to be able to help out financially when its needed. To give a car to Jabali's brother so he can get to work and support his family, to have money in savings that I can use to help pay for my brother's school expenses. I want to give more, help more, do more on a larger scale and in order to do that... I need more money. lol.
My recent love/hate relationship with lists. I am not sure what is going on with me lately. I do not feel like myself. I am suffering from some existential funk I guess. When I write a list I am happy... if I don't I am stressed, but I can't get myself to write lists without feeling discouraged because I know I can't do the entire list. Strange. I hope this doesn't last long because I am annoying myself. :)
3 comments:
Glad you were able to visit with family so much. Sorry you didn't enjoy the rest of the season as much as you hoped to. You can always make Christmas last all year and do your favorite activities once a month or something?
I like to write lists too. I decided that we (Andy and I) need a house project to completely accomplish each month this year and wrote them all out (at least halfway through the year and I figured then we could pick more projects...old house=constant projects.)
When I make daily to do lists if I want to be able to cross more off, I add in things like, shower, eat, take kids to school, and easy stuff I know I have to do.
Or I make a list of everything I think I could possibly do in a week and assign them to days of that week. I try to compartmentalize them so I can say to myself that something else is for Thursday and I don't need to worry about it yet. Like errands on one day, house projects on another, phone calls and paperwork, mending, etc). It seems to flow better than the constant multitasking too.
Oh and for your big challenge you are worried about, remember that if you are prepared, ye shall not fear. That might mean making freezer meals or it might mean something else (since I have no idea what you are referring to...) Good luck!
I love reading your comments!! They always make me smile.
You give great advice and I think you should start an advice blog, you could call it something like "Dear Abby('s mom)" lol. :)
I'm glad you don't just think I'm annoying with all my comments....
I am a commenter. I can't help it.
I hate it when I blog and no one responds, so I'm the opposite. I don't expect everyone to comment all the time or everytime, but it sure is nice. My mom usually comments for me.
I am glad you smiled. =)
Dear Abby('s mom) sounds great.
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