You say inappropriate like it's a bad thing.

Inappropriate things make me laugh. I enjoy laughing. :) There is this site, actually it's a tumblr account that I frequent. It's a rockstar guy who gives advice to women (and men too) from a guy's point of view. It's hilariously inappropriate alot of the time. Hilariously. I laugh every time. Seriously, every time.

MaleMinded.tumblr.com.  If you like funny things... You will love this!!

Here's a teaser for ya:

Small children and the Parents who don't love them.

I am always disappointed when I take my children out to play at a park, indoor play land or pretty much anywhere other small children are. A lot of parents suck. Really bad. It bothers me.

Last week I took the littles to watch Xie's last football game. There were lots of other small children there. I was running around and playing with my kids whenever Xie wasn't in (he doesn't go in very often and sports aren't my thing, if I don't know someone playing I am extremely bored) so we played a lot! And naturally other kids see us having fun and want to join in, no big deal. There was this 2 (most likely closer to 3) year old that hung out with us most of the game. I often wondered why no one came looking for her. And then she got hurt. Still no one came. She had jumped off the top of some metal bleachers after I explained (in my mom voice) that it was too dangerous for her to do (the older boys were doing it) and I asked her if she wanted to come jump from lower down like Marley was doing. She told me no and jumped off. Her feet hit the ground then her nose hit her knee. Instant bloody nose. She starts screaming and crying. I panic, of course. Someone else's child got hurt on my watch, granted  no one asked me to watch her, heck I didn't even know her name... but still I felt responsible. I asked her to come over to me so I could help her. She said "No, you are a stranger and I won't talk to you." I said "Good for you honey, strangers can be dangerous, but I am just a mom, and I have some tissues in my bag, let me help fix you up and then we can go find your mom." Of course she screamed no at me and stomped off. What 2 year old wouldn't? But she stomped off to the fence toward the parking lot and sat there crying into her knees. Where was this child's mom?!! Or anyone who loved her for that matter... she had been "gone" for a long time and now she was hurt and crying. Poor girl.

Another time at a park in Richland, a small girl (who also seemed parent-less) was playing with us for about 30 minutes and as we were all walking away from these giant fish she tripped and fell on the sidewalk. She started screaming and Quinn stopped, turned around and helped her up. I was walking over to ask her where her mom or dad was when this lady on a cell phone came marching over. "What happened?" "What did you do to her?" she said as she glared at Quinn. I said, "Your daughter tripped, my son was politely helping her up." I put my hand on Quinn and told him he was a nice boy for helping his friend when she fell. I wanted to tell her if she would have been watching her child rather than talking on her phone she would have known that, but I don't like causing scenes in front of my children. I dread going to parks because very few people watch their children these days. They are all too busy on their smart phones. I go to the park to play with my children not to babysit someone else's.

Now, I have met some great moms and fun kids that we get to play with, that totally rocks! And there is always that one mom who could use some help keeping track of everyone... we love to help them out, it's fun to help.

I just wish there were meter maid type patrols in public places. Where people would be ticketed for not watching their children. I want them to pay a fine. lol.

Harsh? Maybe. :)

Happy Surprises!

Don't you just LOVE to find money in your pants pocket?! I do! Today I had a fun surprise even BETTER than a rogue $5 in my dirty pants (that I totally wear again without washing, it's how I roll!).

Today I got to go tanning with Mom and Shel (Jabali didn't work til 4 today, yay for girl time!). Shellie gave me a gift card to Illusions for my birthday and mom got me some awesome tanning lotion so it was a fun all-expenses-paid treat in the middle of the day. Icing on the cake?! I already had 10 visits on my account from 8 years ago when I loved myself enough to tan all the time. Umm... heck yeah!! :) So now I have 10 visits and 50 high pressure minutes on my account just waiting for me to use when I need a little sunny get-away during this sure to be freezing winter!

I .heart. Happy Surprises! :)

P.s. My butt is burnt and itchy.... and I am LOVING it! lol.

The Awesomest Things

From How I Met Your Mother-- funny, funny show!!

When I get sad I stop being sad and be awesome instead. True story. But how do I do it? Simple. I sing the following song to remind myself of how many awesome things there really are out there.

Girls in wet t-shirts and chimps in tuxedos,
Monster truck pile-ups and Hans who shoot Greedos.
Wild chicks that beg to be tied up with strings,
These are a few of the awesomest things!

U.S. Armed Forces and dudes kicked in gonads
Box suites for football and chicks’ absent dads.
Single malt scotches that someone else brings,
These are a few of the awesomest things!

Skateboarder wipe-outs and first person shooters,
Reruns of “Air Wolf” and hiring for Hooters.
Hot girls that gyrate and wear down bedsprings,
These are a few of the awesomest things!

When the check comes!
When the girl clings!
When she’s fully clad…

I simply remember the awesomest things,
And then I don't feel so bad!

 
barneysblog

It's not called depression when your life sucks

Lately my life has been really challenging for me. Jabali is in Grad School and working a full time job. When he is not working, doing homework or at school he is sleeping. He doesn't have much time for anything else. Which means I have to do everything else. Such as: driving kids to and from Ellensburg, dealing with all the big kid drama: bad grades, suspensions from school, teacher meetings, phone calls and emails, good friends, bad friends, girlfriends, sleepovers, homework, chores, bad attitudes, allowance, sports, after school activities, disrespect, lying, pets, showers, hygiene, doctor appointments, orthodontist appointments, medication monitoring and refills, checking text messages and internet histories, signing forms, Halloween costumes, dropping of things at the school, picking up backpacks, explaining difficult problems, helping find solutions without telling them what to do.... and on and on. That is just for the older two kids. I still have two little ones that, believe it or not, are even more needy. And then Jo comes every other weekend adding to my fun but also the workload. It's funny how each child acts like my life revolves around them... but it can't, literally, there are five of them and only one of me.



Then to top it off, I still do all the laundry, cook all the meals, pack all the snacks, do the shopping, most of the cleaning and log 60 hours of work a month. Then throughout the day I am still a much needed sister, daughter and wife. Each with their very own list of responsibilities and expectations.

I can't do it all, and I hate feeling like a failure. What's worse is that I feel like I am being set up for failure. I am frustrated and overwhelmed. I pretty much hate everyone. I don't like feeling like this. I am not depressed, there is no pill that is going to allow me to do everything or have time for everyone, not even the illegal stuff. :)


Right now, not always, but right now ... my life fucking sucks.


I know it'll pass, and eventually I'll figure out how to do it all and have time for myself too. I am amazing like that, but I am also a drama queen so I get to blog and whine about it first. :)

Priceless

Babysitter: $20
Fast Food Lunch and Dinner: $60.79
Gas to/from Ranch and Home: too much, x 3
Reclaiming part of my sanity: Priceless!

Today the puppies got new homes. They will be loved and well taken care of. Most of them will probably have better families than Athena (the one we kept) lol. It was an adventure. An experience the kids loved but I am happy to close that chapter in the book of my life. Puppies are a lot of responsibility and a lot of hard work, especially for someone who thinks that fish are messy pets.

It was a long afternoon. And it felt like "pan-handling", and a couple times in the beginning people treated us like we were. "You should be ashamed of yourselves". Um, thank you sir... I am, but would you like a puppy? ... Thank goodness for my husband, he got the kennel and puppies into the Element and set everything up for me. Thank goodness for Shellie, who is like my personal super hero (she even looks better than Superman in spandex!) who helped "re-home" the puppies and took over so I could take my little kids to their babysitters house for a much needed break.  

It's over. I am done. :) No more feeding puppies 4 times a day. No more spraying poop off the patio every morning. No more wasted afternoons setting up make-shift kennels that they got out of anyway. No more stress when people complained about the puppies. No more cleaning the yard because they tore something up. No more nagging. No more worry about them getting run over. No more puppies.

It's little Jabali's puppy and Mom's dog. Neither have anything to do with me. Hooray.  :)  

Towels

I hate that we have 50 towels, and yet I can never find a clean one. Why is this? Perhaps it's a similar situation to the "missing sock" dilemma, you know... there are a thousand socks but none of them match?

I always tell the kids to use the same towel more than once. Do they? Of course not. That would require extra steps on their part like hanging it up after they use it. Or going to their room to get the towel before heading to the bathroom to shower. No, it's much easier to waste my time and energy.

I have to go room to room collect the towels, then sort them and start washing them. Not all at once of course after all there are 50 remember?!

Today I will go to the store and buy them their very own, super awesome, special towel. I will wash it with their laundry and they can be responsible for it. If I see them using a different towel, there will be a laundry tax applied to their allowance. :)

Fair? I totally think so!