Therapy

Today X had his first official session with his new therapist. I LOVE HIM!! In fact, I want him as my therapist. :) He is a very "large in stature" man with a calming "radio" kinda voice. He used to play for the Seattle Sonics and is now an assistant coach of the CBC Men's College Basketball Team in his spare time. He is really positive, and right off the bat you can tell he is a genuinely cares. Not only will X be seeing him once a week, he is also going to stop by the middle school every other week and talk with the staff on his behalf, check in on his progress and to say hi to X in his environment.

Right before we left he gave X his card to keep in his wallet, and told him "when you need to you can call me or text me. If ever I don't answer, just leave me a message and I will always call you back. I am on your side, we are a team and you'll never have to feel like you have to fight your battles alone. I will help you learn the skills necessary to be successful in school and in life." He told him he could tell he was a great kid and said he was excited to get to know him and said he looks forward to seeing him after Christmas.

I couldn't stop smiling. I loved it! The intake psych was a little too straightforward and tougher than I wanted for X, and I was nervous about another guy therapist, I almost insisted on a woman because he responds so well to them (the kid's got some SERIOUS mommy issues) but he doesn't really respect women because he can "charm" them so easily (and he can, that's no lie) but this guy... IS AMAZING. He is exactly perfect for X. I was so happy that I almost cried!! lol.

Hooray for answers to prayers!! I am excited for this next chapter in the Xie saga. He will turn out to be a great man yet, just you watch. Patience and persistence. :)

Get your 'P' on!

In our house we have a saying. "Get your P on!" It's a silly little thing that reminds us to be: Patient, Positive and Polite. If I catch one of the kids not following those family rules I remind them by saying something silly like: "Don't forget to P!" , "Sounds like you need to P" ... or something along those lines. To outsiders it sounds like I'm being gross and using potty language, but to my kids it usually makes them laugh; which, along with the secret reminder usually corrects whatever poor behavior they are portraying.  It's part of my P.arenting tactics I am working on. :)

• Patient
• Positive
• Polite
• Playful
• Persistent
• Practical
• Prayerful
• Pleasant
• Proper
• Praise

Maybe one day I'll write a book... :) but I gotta test out my theories and make sure they work first! Otherwise I'd just look like a Punk! lol.

Oh no you did-n't :)

My step boys Jabali and Xavior have a propensity for offering up unwanted parenting "help". This LONG Christmas break has not been an exception.

Today's little pre-teen parenting tip: Eat all your food or sit at the counter forever.

Xie to Marley: You can't get down until you eat everything on your plate. So sit back down and eat your breakfast.

Me: I'm sorry, what? Do I make you eat everything on your plate? Has that EVER been one of my rules?

Xie: No, but she should not waste any food. And I don't want her to think she can treat me the same way she treats you.

Me: Um... wow, I didn't realize she treated me so poorly. And you, the ultimate waster of food is going to judge a 2 year old? Hmmm... :) How many kids do you have X?

Xie: (rolling his eyes at me) None.

Me: Oh, that's right you don't have any kids. I know you are just trying to help me, but like I always point out, I don't need help parenting. Especially from someone who is not yet a parent. :) But the good news is when you do have your own kids you can force them to eat all of their food and leave them with emotional scars that cause eating disorders if you want, but these are my kids and I'll raise them how I feel is best.  If you want to help me ... do some dishes :).

Xie: I am never going to have any kids. All they do is make big messes and cause problems.

Me: Tell me about it! (smirked at him)

Xie: Oh shush! At least I clean up after myself... some of the time!

Me: :) How's about those dishes??

Xie: (walking away laughing) Not a chance!

Ha, ha!

Hilarious!

I just can't say NO!

I bought another magazine subscription I don't need today. I hate myself for it too. I could cancel but I won't. lol. I know my weaknesses and door to door sells are one of them. Here's why:

1. People are always mean to them, so I like to be extra nice.

2. I love strangers, and helping them out is like a double bonus.

3. My anxiety flares the second they step foot in my house, and I will do anything to get them back out. lol.

Mostly the first two, but that last one is a biggie!! So. I have decided to solve this problem by putting up a sign on my front door.  A nice framed "No Soliciting Please" sign. It will say something like this:

No Soliciting Please

we found Jesus

we love our vacuum

we already give to charity

we have more magazines than we need

and my kid is selling the same crap you are

but good luck and have a great day!!!

:)

That's nice enough right?! Obviously friends, family and the missionaries are always welcome at my house, but that's not soliciting. I don't even mind when people of other religions come over and chat me up a bit. They aren't trying to sell me anything. It's those darn college kids and their tuition costs. Well, I have college students of my own to support too dang it!

Dorms and Dreams!

While researching some housing options for my brother Jake's Winter/Spring track at BYU this year. I came across an ad on craigslist. This guy was selling his housing contract so he could run off and get married. Pretty typical, when I went to college I bought my cousin Jana's contract so she could do the same thing! :)

The funny thing about this particular ad was the very last sentence. It said this:

"If you buy this contract, all your dreams may come true; you'll never know if you don't buy."

I laughed so hard when I read this! Seriously LOL action. The place isn't that cool. My boyfriend lived at that apartment complex, and I remember it being so-so, and the price is not a huge discount from the orginal price.... but after that tag line?! I wanted to call him and ask him where to mail the check!

I love a good laugh!

Making These!! :)

http://daisyt13.wordpress.com/2011/12/04/santa-hat-brownies/

My Day Off

My husband gave me the day off today. At first I fought him over it, I thought he was trying to be rude ... he's not exactly the best with words; or rather I am super defensive. :)  I left the house in a huff without thinking about where I was going to go or what I was going to do.

I slammed my car door shut, flung myself into the driver's seat and pouted. I buckled the seat belt and turned my favorite "bad music" up really loud... a couple f-words later and I could feel the start of a smile creep across my face (I really love bad words and swearing in general. haha) and I decided that I was going to get a Rockstar. As soon as I cracked that bad boy open it was over! I was singing and dancing and la-la-loving my 'me time' all over town. Happy Day Off indeed. lol.

I spent the afternoon shopping and found some great deals. I parked at the back of parking lots because there was no need to rush, I went to 5 different stores, stopped to get coffee and go tanning, I didn't have to stress about littles or worry about how much time I had left before the boys got home, or what I was going to cook for dinner. It was fabulous! So fun. The only thing that could have made it any better would be a friend or two, creme brulee and maybe some Tofu Teriakyi.

All in all, it was a fabulous, relaxing day!! And now, I know what I want for Christmas!! :)

Snoqualmie Pass

My "most visited" website isn't Pinterest, it isn't Facebook, or even my Blog page. It's this:


http://wsdot.com/traffic/passes/snoqualmie/default.aspx



Every day (multiple times on most days) I check the weather on the Snoqualmie Pass to see whether or not I will be driving to Ellensburg or North Bend to pick up/drop off stepkids. Even on days I don't drive I check the weather reports to see if the extended report includes snow or super low temps so I can make a plan either way. It's a compulsive behavior I have, I hate it but I can't stop doing it... now you can do it too. :)

Hopefully Spring is just around the corner... that or a new job for my husband. Either one!

Truth!

December Disclaimer

I absolutely love Christmas time. I love everything about it. Family, Music, Treats, Charity, Activities, Lights, Hot Chocolate, Kindness, Decorations, Trees, Love, Snow, Happiness... spending obscene amounts of Money! lol.  

I love it all!! It makes me giddy. :) So be warned that my posts during this month are most likely going to have lots of : )  :)  : ), and probably way too many !!!!!!!!!!

Early Mornings

Early mornings mean a jump start on the day, a few extra hours I wouldn't have if I had gone back to bed. I woke up at 6:15, got the boys off to school, did some laundry, organized for a while, did a little online shopping, stalked all my favorite people, and now I am about to jog on the treadmill (while watching Limitless, again) then go make breakfast for my kids before they wake up! :)

It's going to be a great day!

Christmas Countdown Begins!! :)

I have been waiting for Dec 1st for quite some time! I absolutely LOVE doing an Advent Christmas Countdown with my kids, and this year is going to be awesome! :)

I didn't want to use a standard Advent Calendar this year; I wanted something different. So after looking at a bunch of ideas online, I decided that while I thought each idea was super cute, it wasn't what I wanted. My Little's are mischievous and most wouldn't last a day, especially if they found candy in even one little box, flap or envelope. :)

I needed a way of storing the activity/book/treats for a single day without having to display everyday at once. I remembered getting a tiny mailbox in place of a stocking one Christmas (my mom was super creative, and she enjoyed last minute shopping so it could have been her creative genes or a general lack of stockings at the store! lol) Anyway, a mailbox popped into my head. I did a google image search and sure enough I found someone who used a mailbox for an "Advent Calendar". I couldn't find a small craft size one that I deemed large enough for the perfect image I had in my head, so I bought (paid way too much for) a real-mail letters-steel-outside mailbox to use. :)

We decorated the outside of the mailbox with Christmas stickers and magnets. The Little's helped me and it turned out super cute, I didn't even overly OCD anything, just straightened a piece here and there. :) Now, each night I'll put an activity, book and treat in the mailbox and put the flag up for them to find the next day. Exactly what I was looking for and SUPER FUN! :)

(I will replace this crummy picture with a good one as soon as the battery for my camera is charged!)

Change is Good

I am happy most days. I love my good (albeit, complicated and at times overwhelming) life. Yet, I want more. I think it's human nature to want to continue progressing, and I've been told if you aren't moving forward you are slipping backward. So, I am going to make some changes.

Change #1: ORGANIZED LIVING

Step 1: The House

I want to be more organized. WAY more organized. A place for everything and everything in it's place. I am pretty organzied as it is. I know where everything is, but no one else seems to so they have to ask me. Also, there is always clutter and junk that is funkdafying (funk-da-fy-ing, it's a real word. Or it should be! lol.) my areas. So my solution is less stuff, a lot less stuff (think dumpster!)  and clean, organized areas clearly labeled so everyone else knows exactly where something belongs.

This is going to be a VERY long project, but I am going to dedicate an hour of my day to this 'change' until it's done. I am going to start at the bottom far corner of the house, the laundry room, and move on from there. :)

Dirty Dishes and Sticky Kisses

American Idol winner Scotty McCreery's song Dirty Dishes is awesome. I think it's a little too slow for me, but that's probably just because it makes me cry, lol. Dang, country music!

I've heard lots of little poems and songs that have a similar message but this one is most def one of my faves! I am thankful for alot of things and it just so happens that dirty dishes and sticky kisses are two of my favorite things. :)

Momma Hollers, Suppertime
And Don’t Make Me Tell You Twice
Wash Your Hands And Wipe Your Face
The Table’s No Place For Your Toys

And Try To Use Your Inside Voice
Don’t Dig In “Til We Say, Grace
So We Put Down Our Forks And Bowed Our Heads
Then She Prayed The Strangest Prayer Ever Said

I Wanna Thank You, Lord
For Noisy Children And Slammin’ Doors
And Clothes Scattered All Over The Floor
A Husband Workin’ All The Time

Draggin’ In Dead-Tired At Night
A Never Ending, Messy Kitchen
And Dirty Dishes
We All Got Real Still And Quiet

And Daddy Asked, Hon, Are You All Right
She Said, There Ain’t Nothin’ Wrong
Noisy Kids Are Happy Kids
And Slammin’ Doors Just Means We Live
In A Warm And Loving Home

Your Long Hours And Those Dishes In The Sink
Means A Job And Enough To Eat
So, I’m Gonna Thank You, Lord
For Noisy Children And Slammin’ Doors

And Clothes Scattered All Over The Floor
A Husband Workin’ All The Time
Draggin’ In Dead-Tired At Night
A Never Ending, Messy Kitchen

For My Little Busy Bees
Beggin’ Momma, Momma Can We Please
Always Wantin’, Needing, Callin’ Me
Loads Of Laundry Pilin’ Up

Crayons Crushed Into The Rug
And Those Little Sticky Kisses
And Dirty Dishes
And Dirty Dishes

Black Friday

Days til Black Friday: 9 (well, technically 8 days because it actually starts at 10pm Thanksgiving Night.)

I know a lot of people who have mixed feelings about this Holiday. (Yes, to me it is a Holiday! lol ) Some of my dearest friends hate it with a passion. But, I am pro BF. Hugely so. I love a good sale and this is the mother of all sales. :)

This year I am going to make matching bandannas for our posse, apply war paint to my face, draw a map of my "plan of attack", maybe even make shirts that say "I bite". I don't really bite, or elbow, or steal out of people's carts. In fact, I am as non-crazy as they come, but I love the crazies and it just so happens I am quite theatrical.  I mean, just think of the wierd looks I'd get and fun facebook posts I would start with a shirt like that!   

I can't wait. I am so excited! I have a lot of things I want to cross off my list. If I am lucky enough to find it all - great, if not it's no big deal. A good attitude makes all the difference. :)

Scholastic Book Offer

Did you know that Kellogg's is offering a $5 Coupon for a Scholastic Book if you buy 2 of their specially marked cereals and enter the codes on this website http://www.scholastic.com/kellogg/stepOne.htm

How SWEET is that?! :) Pretty dang sweet if you ask me! And with Albertson's doublers coming out for 5 days this week I see some cheap cereal and awesome books in my very near future!!

*You only need two Kellogg’s codes to receive a free book, but the more Kellogg’s codes you enter, the more $5 Book Coupons you will receive!

Gotta Keep Your Head Up. Only Rainbows After Rain.

Forget Me Not

"We spend so much time and energy comparing ourselves to others- usually comparing our weaknesses to their strengths. This drives us to create expectations for ourselves that are impossible to meet. As a result, we never celebrate our good efforts because they seem to be less than what someone else does....

God wants to help us to eventually turn all of our weaknesses into strengths, but He knows that this is a long-term goal. He wants us to become perfect, and if we stay on the path of discipleship, one day we will. It’s OK that you’re not quite there yet. Keep working on it, but stop punishing yourself.

Many of you are endlessly compassionate and patient with the weaknesses of others. Please remember also to be compassionate and patient with yourself....

Be thankful for all the small successes in your home, your family relationships, your education and livelihood, your Church participation and personal improvement. Like the forget-me-nots, these successes may seem tiny to you and they may go unnoticed by others, but God notices them and they are not small to Him. If you consider success to be only the most perfect rose or dazzling orchid, you may miss some of life’s sweetest experiences."

President Dieter F. Uchtdorf

General RS Meeting

October 2011



Country Music

Nothing can make me cry faster than Country Music. That's usually why I don't listen to it. I say that I don't like it, or that it's just too "twangy" for me. Truth is, I love country music. BUT, it usually makes me ball like a baby. 'I loved her first', 'Stealing Cinderella', 'I still miss you' the first three songs I've listened to today. Each one = tears. There is so much love and heartache, loss, truth, pain and emotion in country music. I cry every time and usually over every song.

Today is the perfect day for country music. :)

Random Rambling

It's been so long since I've written anything for this blog. Sad times. I love blogging! :) I wanted to have a nice coherent topic for you to read about... something lighthearted and upbeat, but every time I start writing I end up finishing the sentence typing "blah, blah, boring, blah"! lol. So instead I'll give you a brief peak into my discombobulated thoughts.

Brad's gone. He's not only an amazing brother, and pseudo child, he is one of my best friends too. It's a funny story, about a year ago... we were eating breakfast and laughing about silly things and he said, "Sarah, you are pretty much my best friend. That is really sad for the both of us!" lol. Now he is gone. For two years he is gone. I miss him and I am really sad. I know it's a great opportunity for him, and he'll come back even cooler than when he left, but I'm selfish so I am sad and cry "all the day". Hopefully he is happy and the next two years will go by quickly.

Marley has eczema, and this weather is drying out her skin super fast. Poor tiny baby. I need a lotion-warming machine so she is more willing to let me lotion her up 3 times a day.

I no longer like Sugar-Free Redbull. It's a long story. It's funny... and not really all that long. I drank WAY too much. Now the smell of it makes me queasy. Darn Halloween. Now I need to find myself another energy drink that I can love. Pink Rockstar? We'll see. :)

Quinn has a speech problem. I worry about him. Not that he won't be able to fix it, he will. He is a super smart, borderline genius child... but I worry about other kids being mean to him in the meantime. I don't want him to be sad or have his feelings hurt by abhorrent children. Kids are mean. That causes me anxiety. I can't feel comfortable putting him in a daycare "knowing" he won't like it. It's outside of my control, which means I can't find a different job. I won't even look. Jabali wants me to, but my OCD/Anxiety won't let me. Xanax doesn't come cheap!

I usually love to do dishes and laundry. Not lately. That makes me grumpy. So, I need to designate half of my day tomorrow to board games and laundry and the second half to dancing and dishes ... and bedrooms, cuz yikes!  But I will need to go buy more "Marley friendly" laundry soap first.

Life has been complicated and difficult lately. I wish I could be positive all the time and always look on the bright side of things. I can't. It's exhausting. It's ok to have bad days. Not everyday can be a great day. And people who pretend they do or enjoy portraying a "perfect life", one without any bad days or frustrating challenges are annoying. If you are one of these people just know normal people like me... well, we don't like you! :)  

I want to win the lottery. I don't play, but it'd be great to win. I do realize the odds of winning without purchasing a ticket are pretty slim but I'm just not willing to part with my "me money" these days. So, basically, winning the lottery is out. haha.

Staying up until 2am just to see my husband is hard to do, especially when my days usually start a few short hours later.

I love popcorn. I really, really love it. Especially the theatre popcorn dipped in nacho cheese sauce. I would eat that everyday the calories didn't count! :)

EXTREME AWESOMENESS!!

Happy 11:11 11.11.11!!

So fun! :)

You say inappropriate like it's a bad thing.

Inappropriate things make me laugh. I enjoy laughing. :) There is this site, actually it's a tumblr account that I frequent. It's a rockstar guy who gives advice to women (and men too) from a guy's point of view. It's hilariously inappropriate alot of the time. Hilariously. I laugh every time. Seriously, every time.

MaleMinded.tumblr.com.  If you like funny things... You will love this!!

Here's a teaser for ya:

Small children and the Parents who don't love them.

I am always disappointed when I take my children out to play at a park, indoor play land or pretty much anywhere other small children are. A lot of parents suck. Really bad. It bothers me.

Last week I took the littles to watch Xie's last football game. There were lots of other small children there. I was running around and playing with my kids whenever Xie wasn't in (he doesn't go in very often and sports aren't my thing, if I don't know someone playing I am extremely bored) so we played a lot! And naturally other kids see us having fun and want to join in, no big deal. There was this 2 (most likely closer to 3) year old that hung out with us most of the game. I often wondered why no one came looking for her. And then she got hurt. Still no one came. She had jumped off the top of some metal bleachers after I explained (in my mom voice) that it was too dangerous for her to do (the older boys were doing it) and I asked her if she wanted to come jump from lower down like Marley was doing. She told me no and jumped off. Her feet hit the ground then her nose hit her knee. Instant bloody nose. She starts screaming and crying. I panic, of course. Someone else's child got hurt on my watch, granted  no one asked me to watch her, heck I didn't even know her name... but still I felt responsible. I asked her to come over to me so I could help her. She said "No, you are a stranger and I won't talk to you." I said "Good for you honey, strangers can be dangerous, but I am just a mom, and I have some tissues in my bag, let me help fix you up and then we can go find your mom." Of course she screamed no at me and stomped off. What 2 year old wouldn't? But she stomped off to the fence toward the parking lot and sat there crying into her knees. Where was this child's mom?!! Or anyone who loved her for that matter... she had been "gone" for a long time and now she was hurt and crying. Poor girl.

Another time at a park in Richland, a small girl (who also seemed parent-less) was playing with us for about 30 minutes and as we were all walking away from these giant fish she tripped and fell on the sidewalk. She started screaming and Quinn stopped, turned around and helped her up. I was walking over to ask her where her mom or dad was when this lady on a cell phone came marching over. "What happened?" "What did you do to her?" she said as she glared at Quinn. I said, "Your daughter tripped, my son was politely helping her up." I put my hand on Quinn and told him he was a nice boy for helping his friend when she fell. I wanted to tell her if she would have been watching her child rather than talking on her phone she would have known that, but I don't like causing scenes in front of my children. I dread going to parks because very few people watch their children these days. They are all too busy on their smart phones. I go to the park to play with my children not to babysit someone else's.

Now, I have met some great moms and fun kids that we get to play with, that totally rocks! And there is always that one mom who could use some help keeping track of everyone... we love to help them out, it's fun to help.

I just wish there were meter maid type patrols in public places. Where people would be ticketed for not watching their children. I want them to pay a fine. lol.

Harsh? Maybe. :)

Happy Surprises!

Don't you just LOVE to find money in your pants pocket?! I do! Today I had a fun surprise even BETTER than a rogue $5 in my dirty pants (that I totally wear again without washing, it's how I roll!).

Today I got to go tanning with Mom and Shel (Jabali didn't work til 4 today, yay for girl time!). Shellie gave me a gift card to Illusions for my birthday and mom got me some awesome tanning lotion so it was a fun all-expenses-paid treat in the middle of the day. Icing on the cake?! I already had 10 visits on my account from 8 years ago when I loved myself enough to tan all the time. Umm... heck yeah!! :) So now I have 10 visits and 50 high pressure minutes on my account just waiting for me to use when I need a little sunny get-away during this sure to be freezing winter!

I .heart. Happy Surprises! :)

P.s. My butt is burnt and itchy.... and I am LOVING it! lol.

The Awesomest Things

From How I Met Your Mother-- funny, funny show!!

When I get sad I stop being sad and be awesome instead. True story. But how do I do it? Simple. I sing the following song to remind myself of how many awesome things there really are out there.

Girls in wet t-shirts and chimps in tuxedos,
Monster truck pile-ups and Hans who shoot Greedos.
Wild chicks that beg to be tied up with strings,
These are a few of the awesomest things!

U.S. Armed Forces and dudes kicked in gonads
Box suites for football and chicks’ absent dads.
Single malt scotches that someone else brings,
These are a few of the awesomest things!

Skateboarder wipe-outs and first person shooters,
Reruns of “Air Wolf” and hiring for Hooters.
Hot girls that gyrate and wear down bedsprings,
These are a few of the awesomest things!

When the check comes!
When the girl clings!
When she’s fully clad…

I simply remember the awesomest things,
And then I don't feel so bad!

 
barneysblog

It's not called depression when your life sucks

Lately my life has been really challenging for me. Jabali is in Grad School and working a full time job. When he is not working, doing homework or at school he is sleeping. He doesn't have much time for anything else. Which means I have to do everything else. Such as: driving kids to and from Ellensburg, dealing with all the big kid drama: bad grades, suspensions from school, teacher meetings, phone calls and emails, good friends, bad friends, girlfriends, sleepovers, homework, chores, bad attitudes, allowance, sports, after school activities, disrespect, lying, pets, showers, hygiene, doctor appointments, orthodontist appointments, medication monitoring and refills, checking text messages and internet histories, signing forms, Halloween costumes, dropping of things at the school, picking up backpacks, explaining difficult problems, helping find solutions without telling them what to do.... and on and on. That is just for the older two kids. I still have two little ones that, believe it or not, are even more needy. And then Jo comes every other weekend adding to my fun but also the workload. It's funny how each child acts like my life revolves around them... but it can't, literally, there are five of them and only one of me.



Then to top it off, I still do all the laundry, cook all the meals, pack all the snacks, do the shopping, most of the cleaning and log 60 hours of work a month. Then throughout the day I am still a much needed sister, daughter and wife. Each with their very own list of responsibilities and expectations.

I can't do it all, and I hate feeling like a failure. What's worse is that I feel like I am being set up for failure. I am frustrated and overwhelmed. I pretty much hate everyone. I don't like feeling like this. I am not depressed, there is no pill that is going to allow me to do everything or have time for everyone, not even the illegal stuff. :)


Right now, not always, but right now ... my life fucking sucks.


I know it'll pass, and eventually I'll figure out how to do it all and have time for myself too. I am amazing like that, but I am also a drama queen so I get to blog and whine about it first. :)

Priceless

Babysitter: $20
Fast Food Lunch and Dinner: $60.79
Gas to/from Ranch and Home: too much, x 3
Reclaiming part of my sanity: Priceless!

Today the puppies got new homes. They will be loved and well taken care of. Most of them will probably have better families than Athena (the one we kept) lol. It was an adventure. An experience the kids loved but I am happy to close that chapter in the book of my life. Puppies are a lot of responsibility and a lot of hard work, especially for someone who thinks that fish are messy pets.

It was a long afternoon. And it felt like "pan-handling", and a couple times in the beginning people treated us like we were. "You should be ashamed of yourselves". Um, thank you sir... I am, but would you like a puppy? ... Thank goodness for my husband, he got the kennel and puppies into the Element and set everything up for me. Thank goodness for Shellie, who is like my personal super hero (she even looks better than Superman in spandex!) who helped "re-home" the puppies and took over so I could take my little kids to their babysitters house for a much needed break.  

It's over. I am done. :) No more feeding puppies 4 times a day. No more spraying poop off the patio every morning. No more wasted afternoons setting up make-shift kennels that they got out of anyway. No more stress when people complained about the puppies. No more cleaning the yard because they tore something up. No more nagging. No more worry about them getting run over. No more puppies.

It's little Jabali's puppy and Mom's dog. Neither have anything to do with me. Hooray.  :)  

Towels

I hate that we have 50 towels, and yet I can never find a clean one. Why is this? Perhaps it's a similar situation to the "missing sock" dilemma, you know... there are a thousand socks but none of them match?

I always tell the kids to use the same towel more than once. Do they? Of course not. That would require extra steps on their part like hanging it up after they use it. Or going to their room to get the towel before heading to the bathroom to shower. No, it's much easier to waste my time and energy.

I have to go room to room collect the towels, then sort them and start washing them. Not all at once of course after all there are 50 remember?!

Today I will go to the store and buy them their very own, super awesome, special towel. I will wash it with their laundry and they can be responsible for it. If I see them using a different towel, there will be a laundry tax applied to their allowance. :)

Fair? I totally think so!

Homework Woes

I have never been fond of math. I'm not bad at it but it doesn't come as naturally to me as the other subjects in school do.

Last night it took me an hour to help Xavior do 20 math problems. He hates math too. I had to go back and read the directions, study the examples, and then test my answers before I was confident in helping teach him the concept.

There is nothing like a little middle school homework assignment to make you feel inadequate about your abilities to do math! :)

My Littles

One day they won't be so little anymore.

Until then...

Party like a Rockstar!!

After being 28 for two years (due to some faulty calculations on my part, lol) I am officially 29! This is the last year of my twenties, and my birthday weekend was a great beginning to the end of my youth. (Haha. Dramatic much?!)

SATURDAY

My mom took me and (paid for) a late-lunch-party with some of my wild and crazy girls at Twigs, the newest and coolest restaurant in the Tri-Cities. Their sexiest bartender has the hots for me so I love going there (... and my husband works there too! j/k haha). My mom bought 3 Creme Brulees and Jackie bought 1. Seriously. YUM! My obsession with that perfect dessert is boardline obsessive. haha.

After lunch Jackie took me to spend my birthday money she and Nate gave me (she wanted to make sure I really spent it on myself... she totally knows how it goes, lol). So, thanks to Jackie I got my dream running shoes. Lime Green Nike Dual Fusions. They are amazing and so fun to look at... I LOVE THEM!

Shelby and Jesse babysat the kids for me, and wouldn't let me pay them! It wasn't a few hours either, it was like all day! :)  I la-la-love birthday babysitting!! 

SUNDAY

On Sunday, the kids and I got to 'craft it up' with Shel and our all-time-favorite neighbors in all the world! We made puffy paint Halloween shirts and picture frames. The we had pumpkin shaped brownies covered in frosting and sprinkles (and ice cream!) for a treat! Everyone had a blast. I can't wait until our next 'Create Playdate'. I see sugar cookies in my near future! :)

MONDAY

On Monday, my official birthday -- Shellie brought me over Redbull, Brad took me and Shel to a movie and Mom babysat my kids. We saw Real Steel, it was a great movie. I loved looking at Hugh Jackman, it had a nice positive storyline, Shel cried three times, but... my favorite part? Meeting my couponing idol Karrie from Happy Money Saver, who just happened to be sitting next to us. LOL. Talk about Birthday SURPRISES!!  I love her, love her. And I was really composed (so proud of myself). It went a little like this:

Brad (to nice couple next to us): "blah.blah. small talk.blah"

Me: Is your name Karrie?

Karrie: (surprised) Uh, yeah it is.

Me: I knew it! I follow you... and I like you on facebook... and I love you.

Brad: (laughing) What?!

Me: She's my coupon girl. Happy Money Saver.

Brad: LOL. You are such a stalker. Hey did you bring your binder, maybe she'll sign it?

Karrie and her husband: laughing at us.

Me (to myself): this is the best birthday ever!

Shel (to Brad): Great Brad. I try really hard to make sure Sarah's birthday rocks, because she's always

doing stuff for everyone else. Lunch, Tanning, Slippers, Cheesecake, Lotion, Laces for her new shoes... all you do is sit next to the right people and make her whole year! haha.

:)

.one of those days.

I don't know about you but when if I am having a difficult time and someone comes up to me and says "Oh, it's going to be one of those days huh?" it kinda puts me in a sour mood.

Actually to be honest it downright pisses me off. Especially if the person who has made your day more difficult (hense the feeling of being overwhelmed) is the one to say it.

Thank goodness for joint bank accounts and massive amount of glow sticks and glow stick accessories! :)

Twilight: Breaking Dawn

Does this picture make anyone else ridiculously giddy?? And I mean ridiculously.

It's sad I know, but I am not ashamed.

I  used to make fun of my mom and sister when I found out they were reading them.

Then I watched the movie. LOVE. Then I read the books. OBSESSION.

A little over a month to go.

32 days to be exact.

:)

You say fake, I say polite.

I've heard several conversations lately about people being "fake". One in particular about someone I know, but I don't think she's fake. I think she's being polite and acting like an adult and I said as much.

 

 

While I agree there are some people who are extremely fake, ya know the people whose opinions change depending on the crowd of people they are with. Or the over the top friendly person with a personal agenda. And don't forget the ones who are nice to your face then constantly talk crap behind your back. Everyone knows at least one of these people. They become overwhelming, and in my life I just ignore them,  or hide them -- facebook style. :)

Just because you are mature enough to tolerate your dislike of another person does not mean you are being fake. It means you are well-mannered. If you start drama or act like a bitch because you don't like someone it doesn't mean you are 'real', it means you are a bitch.

Here is a story for you: There are two girls that don't like each other anymore (once best friends now they can't stand each other) but these two girls have a mutual friend. This mutual friend is having a birthday party. These two "enemies" simply fake getting along for the sake of the mutual friend they share, after all it's her party! That is being an adult. Only children can get away with throwing tantrums and making a scene.

 

 

Taking the high road and being polite is the right thing to do. Whether it's viewed as fake or not.

Puppies and Pooping

We have lots and lots of puppies. Nine of them to be exact. They poop everywhere. It's insanity. I am constantly shoveling or spraying down my back patio. It's just what puppies do I guess! :) ... well apparently, Marley too.

While the kids and I were outside playing with the puppies in the yard, Marley ran over to the concrete patio, dropped her pants and pooped. I was speechless. I didn't know what to do or say, so I just laughed. I usually pick her up and run to the bathroom but I didn't feel it appropriate (too far a distance to travel safely). When I asked her what she was doing she said, "Pooping on the poop deck". Ha, ha, ha.

After we went inside to use the potty, I explained that people poop in toilets, only puppies poop outside. :) Peeing is a different story. lol.

Ellensburg

In two hours I will kiss my little ones good bye and hop in the car with my two older boys to begin our long drive to Ellensburg and back. Some months the kids' schedules line up to where I am only driving twice a month, but this is not one of those months. I drive to  and from Ellensburg on  Friday and  then again on Sunday, for three weeks in a row. (At least its not four, that happens too!)

Don't tell my husband this but I don't actually mind the drive. It's fun to some extent. The boys and I make silly memories like stopping at every McDonalds on the way there to try and get new Monopoly pieces so we can win a million dollars. Or singing at the top of our lungs to Justin Bieber, well I sing... they laugh at me. :) We talk about big kid stuff and there are no little kids to interupt them, I think they love the one on one big kid attention. Then when I get travel time with Jo, she talks her little heart out to me. Tells me all about her life, her school, her friends, her other family. Then when she runs out of stories we play games (most of them made up) and tell jokes. She has the best jokes. :)

I just wish it wasn't so hard to find babysitters. I use up all my bribes and favors on driving kids to Ellensburg which leaves me s.o.l. for babysitters when I want to go out for fun or grocery shopping. That is the sucky part. Sometimes I wish it was safe and socially acceptable to hire bums to "work for food" lol. I make a mean lasagna. :)

Tear-filled Eyes and a Broken Heart

I hate to see you in pain, it sucks. It makes me want to throw things and punch strangers (...and I love strangers). I'm a fixer, and I can't fix this.

I wish that you never had to know heartache.

I wish that you never had to cry yourself to sleep at night.

I wish that you never had to fight the emptiness.

I wish that you never had to lose someone you love.

I wish that you never had to dread morning.

I wish that you never had to feel so all alone.

... I wish that you never had to be sad. :( 

It breaks my heart to know yours is broken, I tear up seeing the pain in your face. I wish I could make it all go away. Say the magic words that don't exist. Give you the experience without the pain. 

I want only the good things in life for you.  All happiness, rainbows and unicorns! :) ... or mermaids whatever you want. .... and if there was a way I could spare you from the misery that sometimes happens in life, I would do it. If I could take your pain on I would. I would cry your tears for you.

But I can't.

Having your heart broken hurts. Like a fire you can't put out, it consumes you and makes you think life is over, but it's not over (trust me). Now, some people say time heals all wounds. That's a lie. Over time the pain will fade, but the memory will always be there. I think of it like breaking your arm; no matter how much time passes it doesn't change the fact that it was broken, but every day it hurts a little less. Eventually you'll stop thinking about it and hopefully focus on how it helped shape you as a person, the life experience you gained... and then maybe one day you'll be able to help comfort someone else in a similar situation.  

Just know that I love you and I would do anything for you. Life does go on, even if it feels like there is nothing left to live for, there is. I promise to you there is. This is just a stepping stone in your journey to greatness. :) .... and mermaids.

"

(thanks for posting this quote Angie)

Halloween 2010

 Last year they were pirates...

I LOVE HALLOWEEN!

...can't wait to see what they will be this year!!

Laughing Out Loud

I love high fives. Seriously, love them. We high five (and pound it) for nearly everything at our house. :)

"great job on the dishes" *high five*....

"way to brush your teeth til they shine" *high five*....

"that's a great tower you built out of blocks" *high five*... 

"you ate all of your lunch?!" *high five*....

You get the point. I love high fives, and I also love to laugh.

Laughing is great for the soul, and I do it everyday. :) So when I saw this, I literally laughed out loud. Not the simple-everyone-does-it- kind of laugh. Oh no, this was the "burst of laughter that makes people stop and see who the crazy person in the room is" kinda laugh.

Just in case you haven't laughed yet today:

And the coolest mom award goes to..... ME!

Today was Xie's first away football game. I could not go, but I packed him a bag of snacks and "good luck" treats for the bus ride, accompanied by a nice big " I LOVE YOU!" note. He'll shake his head and pretend to be embarrassed when his friends see it, but deep down it'll make him feel all warm and fuzzy. :)

But the story doesn't end there. Oh no. See, reminding your ADHD husband to tell your ADHD son to remember his bag of goodies doesn't always go as planned. It was left at home. No big deal, I would just to take it to him. I left in time to meet him in the halls when school let out, but there was road construction! They blocked the road I needed to take to get to the school!! Again, not a big deal until ten minutes later I was still sitting there waiting for the big machinery to move outta the way so I could go take the detour. Now I was dangerously late.

When I made it to the school I grabbed Quinn and ran inside to the office and asked where the football bus was parked, she informed me that they were parked in the back by the locker rooms, but they were scheduled to leave 5 minutes ago. I said thanks and ran back to the car. I had to at least try. So I buckled Quinn and headed to the back of the school...

We made it, and the bus was still there!! I jumped out grabbed Quinn and started running across the grass field toward the locker rooms where the bus was parked. Quinn started climbing up my side like a monkey and my pants started to come down in the back! I couldn't stop though the bus was already starting to pull out. So I kept going... and so did my pants. I had Quinn in one arm the snacks in the other, and my bum was partially exposed to some interested middle schoolers. Not full on 'Debord Garbage Day Expo' kinda nudity, but more than I was comfortable with. My run turned into a jig/wiggle run as I tried to dance my pants back up while still moving. Good times. :)  I was almost to the parking lot when the bus pulled out onto the street, the driver didn't see me.

Ugh. .... So sad, well I tried. I'd still get some credit, right?!

But then it occurred to me that I could cut it off at the new fire station. I headed back to the car, again sporting the butt-out-wiggle-run. I re-buckled Quinn and we headed toward the highway. I didn't catch the bus by the fire station, two other cars were in front of me, but I followed it to the light, praying it would turn red. IT DID!! I pulled up along the side of the bus, grabbed the bag of goodies and jumped out of the car. I knocked on the door and scared the bus driver. He quickly opened the door and kinda stared at me in disbelief, he started to ask me if he could help, and I jumped halfway up the steps and held out the bag for him to take and polietly asked if he could pretty please make sure Xie Ray got this. He smiled and said, "You bet!" I thanked him and got back into my car, gave Quinn a high five and then proceeded to pull into line at the stop light headed to Pasco, not back home... but still, I did it. :) That's love right there.

If that doesn't get me an award I would at least like a cookie, or maybe....  a mini marshmallow treat!!  :)

Being Whale-ish Rocks!!

I read this and loved it, so I stole it from a friend. Enjoy! :)

A while back, at the entrance of a gym, there was a picture of a very thin and beautiful woman. The caption was "This summer, do you want to be a mermaid or a whale?"

The story goes, a woman (of clothing size unknown) answered the following way:

"Dear people, whales are always surrounded by friends (dolphins, seals, curious humans), they are sexually active and raise their children with great tenderness.

They entertain like crazy with dolphins and eat lots of prawns. They swim all day and travel to fantastic places like Patagonia, the Barents Sea or the coral reefs of Polynesia.

They sing incredibly well and sometimes even are on cds. They are impressive and dearly loved animals, which everyone defend and admires.

Mermaids do not exist.

But if they existed, they would line up to see a psychologist because of a problem of split personality: woman or fish?

They would have no sex life and could not bear children. Yes, they would be lovely, but lonely and sad.  And, who wants a girl that smells like fish by his side?

Without a doubt, I'd rather be a whale.

At a time when the media tells us that only thin is beautiful, I prefer to eat ice cream with my kids, to have dinner with my husband, to eat and drink and have fun with my friends.

We women, we gain weight because we accumulate so much wisdom and knowledge that there isn't enough space in our heads, and it spreads all over our bodies.

We are not fat, we are greatly cultivated.

Every time I see my curves in the mirror, I tell myself: "How amazing am I ?! "

 

By: Delphine Fieberg

Life Lessons: Self Portraits

I was going through the photos on my phone and was reminded of a little life lesson I learned recently, and decided to share it. :)

A few weeks ago, I had a doctor appointment to have a little procedure done. I got to the office, checked in and sat down to wait for my turn. It wasn't an unreasonable length of time before they called me back. I did the whole thing: blood pressure, height, weight, pee in a cup, draw blood, ya know ... the works. Then I was escorted into the procedure room and instructed to disrobe as the doctor would be with me shortly. No problem there. I've done this a hundred times, and at this point I literally have no shame. I'd sit there naked if they told me to. lol.

Well, about an hour after sitting in that freezing cold room dressed only in a sheet that was strategically put together with Velcro I got bored. I had already stalked all my people on facebook, text chatted, played all my Words with Friends games... then I get a text from my husband:

J: how's it going?

Me: still haven't seen the doctor yet, just sitting here. bored, naked and cold. :)

J: really? Hmm... send me a picture.

Me: lol, ok!

 

 

So I start trying to pose for this sure-to-be-amazing nude portrait to send to my husband. (Don't judge me... :) I know most of you have done this!!) I was mid-striking a pose with my "bringing sexy back" look on my face and camera in hand... then the door to my room opens! In walk my doctor and the nurse.

Oops! I started laughing immediately while making my way back to the proverbial chair. My doctor, a very funny lady I love starts laughing, but she is used to me and all my silliness. The poor nurse on the other hand, a lady in her early 60s, kinda panics. She turned back around to walk out then realized she was suppose to go in and kinda does this bob and weave maneuver inside the doorway before walking in and looking up to the ceiling. lol.

Life Lesson: When at the doctor's office don't wait an hour before taking naked pictures of yourself, or you'll have an audience.

Are you waiting? I am.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/blog/2011/oct/03/amanda-knox-appeal-hearing-live?newsfeed=true

Live Newsfeed of the Amanda Knox Appeal hearing.

My fingers are crossed for Amanda! ... and my toes and arms and everything else too.

UPDATE!:  8.53pm: Knox has been cleared of the murder charge, as has Sollecito.

HOORAY HOORAY HOORAY!! 

That's a BIG victory! :)

After spending more than four years in an Italian jail for a crime she didn't commit she is finally free. What a great victory for her and her family, now she can finally have her life back. Someone better get her a book and movie deal so all the pain and suffering she shouldn't have been put through makes her wealthy enough to pay for the years of intensive therapy she's going to need.

I am sure there will be MANY news reports coming out now. Some supportive and others not. I will not be reading any or listening to any.  Later, when she writes something ... I will read that. Until then I wish her a happy and uneventful life! :)  

Small Victories

I got the boys off to school with smiles. No arguing, no nagging, no complaints... just smiles.

I surprised the little kids with donuts for breakfast, they were so excited for such a simple treat. :)

Started decorating for Halloween. One of my all time fave holidays!!

I have already jumped on the treadmill - sans shoes, but it was a victory all the same! The blister on my heel hurt so bad that 10 minutes in I decided that treadmill'n it barefoot would hurt less. It did hurt less. Barely. And running was out of the question, darn my flat platypus feet! (Sounds like I might need a different cardio activity for the next few days.)

Built the "most awesome fort ever" for the kids to play pretend in this morning.

I got the third ink cartridge installed in the printer. So it's finally working now! I even printed my first batch of coupons and I'm so excited to get re-organized. Next up pre-school printables!!

Lunch is easy today, leftover Papa Murphy's and fruit. Which means more time for arts and crafts.

It's 11:11. One of my favorite times of the day. (OCD much?!... uh huh!) Whenever I see that time it makes me smile. :)

Hooray for small victories!!  

Rushing Relaxation

I have been trying to live a less stressful life lately, achieve more peace and make time for relaxation in each day. I even downloaded an app for that onto my smart phone! Problem is this ... I was feeling stressed after putting the kids down for bed so I reached for my phone and laid back on my bed for some relaxation. It had nice soothing music that took me back to my monthly 'Spa Days' :). Then the program asked me if I was a beginner. Umm... I guess so? I reasoned that I am definitely not good at relaxing or I wouldn't have downloaded the application for help, lol. So I selected beginner and was shown a circle, inside the circle were the words "inhale" and "exhale". I inhaled while it was highlighted, and exhaled when it was highlighted. This went on for a few minutes, I'd say three. By minute four I was searching for a way to skip to "the good part". I was done with this breathing exercise and ready to relax. Then it dawned on me that I was trying to rush my relaxation! I chuckled to myself when I couldn't find a fast foward button, and then turned my phone off-- I had things to get done ya know. :)

Bad sign? I think yes. lol. If you need an app to teach you how to relax, you are too "connected" and secondly, if you skip ahead and try to rush through relaxation you are missing the whole point.

My next attempt will involve a very hot bubble bath, a trashy gossip magazine, candles, some good music .... and ice cream (of course!). Just thinking about it makes me "ahhhhh".

 

via

Such a Foolish Day

Yesterday I felt so busy. I was constantly on-the-go, being way too busy for my own good. Which should mean I accomplished a ton, right? Sadly no, I accomplished very little. Which reminded me of this:

"The foolish expend a great deal of energy and time trying to do everything and end up achieving nothing." -- Lao Tzu

Looking back on my day I was literally running in circles. Cleaning then cooking, then cleaning again... and then more cooking -- follow that up with a little more cleaning. Circles I tell ya, circles. It doesn't stop there either; puppies, work, errands, play time, preschool, laundry, discipline, reading, couponing, spending time with my husband. BUT! Trying to accomplish everything left me achieving nothing. I need focus. If I directed all of my energy on one task until that task was complete I could have done a lot more. So I am going to spend the next few days trying something new. I will make a list of things (cuz, ya know...lists make me giddy!) that need to be done, and I will do them in order completing each task before moving on to the next one. I am excited to see how it goes. :) 

Incessantly Overcooking

I don't mean burning my food, I mean preparing way too much! But let me explain why:

1.) Unknown Numbers

I never know who will be home for dinner.

 If friends will be staying for dinner.

If girlfriends will be coming over for dinner.

Or who will show up during dinner time hungry. 

2.) Hungry Hungry Hippos

Some days the kids are starving, they eat plate after plate of food. Other days, not so much. But we have 4 teenage boys in this house (5 if you count Dylan) ...  can you imagine if all of them were super hungry at once?!

3.) Leftover Lovin'
I love leftovers, always have. They make the perfect lunch, quick snack or lazy day meal.

I have always overcooked, always. Lately, to appease my husband I have been trying to cut back. Yesterday, I made Spaghetti. I made just enough to feed the people that I thought were going to be there and hungry. Then we had company- I no longer had enough food. I didn't eat any dinner so there would be enough for everyone else. There still wasn't going to be (Jabali was bring J2 home from Ellensburg and they were sure to be hungry)... so I had to make more. More meat, more sauce, more noodles, more bread, more veggies, more dessert. More time out of my day. Instead of "over cooking" like I am accustomed to and personally prefer to do, I had to re-cook a second spaghetti dinner. Not my idea of a good time. Plus, I am a firm believer that spaghetti is always better the second day, it's the perfect left over food.

Needless to say, I have now fully embraced my incessant overcooking. In fact I think I will invest in some nice shiny new Tupperware to feed my addiction. :)

Excited

My husband is working at Twigs, a fancy new Bistro and Martini Bar that opens next week in the  Tri-Cities. He came home with a big cheesy grin on his face and showed me a picture, it was Creme Brulee!!! I couldn't be more excited! Few things in life can make me this happy. It's probably the one thing I miss most about living in Seattle. There were so many places to go that served this perfect desert.

Funny story: one time while he and I were on a little trip, Jabali ran into 3 different resturants to ask if they had it on their menu or could make it for me before deciding if we would be eating there or not. I love it that much, well -- that,  and I'm slightly silly when it comes to Creme Brulee. :)

I am excited for the new resturant to open, it has a great food and drink menu too, but of course my number one interest is this. Mmmm. Bring on the extra calories, cuz I tell you what... it's going to be worth it!!

Creme Brulee

(Thank you google images, seriously. Thank. You.)

Puppy Love

Today the cutest thing happened. Quinn and Marley were out playing in the dirt when the sprinklers in the yard came on. Which wouldn't have been such a big deal except the puppies happened to be sleeping in the grass where the sprinklers were spraying. The kids ran over to save them. Quinn held the closest sprinkler so that it sprayed away from the puppies while Marley ran them to safety. They were both soaking wet but the puppies were all safe. I got them some towels but instead of wrapping up in them they took the towels and started drying off the puppies. How sweet is that? :)  

Funny Marley

I was changing laundry today and Marley came running in the room and proclaimed "Mommy I'm a girl!!" I laughed so hard, and told her "Yes, you are." She smiled, did a ballerina spin and ran back out.

Last night, when I was trying to get her to finally go to sleep... after an hour of trying... I laid down next to her pretending to be asleep but I accidently did fall asleep. (It was hard to stay awake because I was so tired.) I woke up about 20 minutes later to her brushing my hair. She had a pretty princess dress on over top of her pjs and a tiara on her head.

Such a funny girl! :)

For Whitney

I know this isn't uplifting or inspiring -- they aren't necessarily positive either; but who said that was the only way to show your love and support for someone? Darling Whitney, I love you and I know that my worst day doesn't hold a candle to your most recent best day. I know your birthday wasn't what it should have been, and I wish so many things for you. Health and happiness being number one, of course! :) But, since I can't do that I hope this helps you somehow... to let you know that yeah, sometimes life sucks and it's ok to feel that way.

 via

 via

 via



Inept

This weekend the boys are suppose to be with their mothers in Seattle. This happens every other weekend. It's not a difficult or confusing schedule, pretty simple really. If you didn't see your child last weekend it means you will see him this weekend.

Corrin forgot it was her weekend to see her son, again. This is the second time in a row. Not the second time ever mind you. This happens constantly. When X called to talk to her about their weekend together, she decided she wasn't going to be able to take him "on such short notice". Apparently forgetting you haven't seen your child in a month is a good enough excuse to absolve her responsibilities as a mother.

Jabali called her to find out what was going on, why she decided to repudiate her child this time. She was appalled that we thought she didn't want to see her son, because oh my gosh, she did want to see him, she really misses him. Her exact words were: "You don't think I want to see him? I do, I really want to see him. I want him to be with me all the time. I hate that he lives so far away from me." She went on and on about how desperately she misses him and how she's so depressed she can't see him play football and blah, blah, blah... then she started making excuses for herself, "I forgot." "You don't know what's going on in my life". "I would do anything to see him"..... Hmmm. I call bullshit. 

1) If my child didn't live with me and I was so heart-broken without him I wouldn't forget when it was my weekend to have him. Never, not ever. If you are genuinely looking forward to something you don't forget. You don't.

2) You'd do anything to see him? Really? Yeah, well obviously not, or you'd see him. The distance isn't an issue, don't lie. We lived 20 minutes from her and she'd still never see him. And she doesn't even drive to get him, Hannah takes him from us and drops him off to her... then picks him back up again.

3) Thinking excuses excuse your behavior is juvenile. You are an adult, act like it. Just because your life is hard you think it gives you a pass on any spending time with your child? It doesn't. Who's life isn't hard? I still take care of my children, including her son regardless of whatever my current issues are. And I don't need to know about what's going on in her life. It's none of my business. What is my business is that she refuses to see her son the 4 days a month she's scheduled to. The last time he went to see his mom he ended up spending the entire weekend with his aunt, his mom didn't even come visit him.

In the mandatory parenting class they discuss how important it is that children spend time with each parent and if the child doesn't want to go you have to make them, otherwise they have emotional issues later in life. I never thought you'd have to force a mother to see her child.

Jabali asked if  a reminder email would help her remember her weekends... she said, "Umm, I guess you could try that. It might help." OH MY GOSH. It "might help"?! Wow. Pitiful. Just thinking about the pain she's caused Xavior makes me sick to my stomach. And I have been dealing with this miserable situation for 5 years now, and it doesn't get any easier. I wish I could just get over it, but every time she does this to him the memories of a heartbroken little boy sobbing in my arms because his mom was too busy for him again prevents me from getting over it. Thankfully he's starting to see the light, I don't make up excuses for her anymore and he knows what a mom should be like. He doesn't even want to go there most of the time. He has more fun here at home with us. What kills me is that she won't change and she's too selfish to realize she's hurting him. Or maybe she does and she doesn't care. Such a pathetic human being and an even worse mother. Oh well, no one's life is perfect and everyone has trials... hopefully it will help him to be an amazing father to his own children. Plus, his father and I love him, at least he has us! :)